THB Ends Up in Walnut Creek

Weather: the Bay Area is enjoying an extended Spring, now around 9 months long

QOTD: So, Alice says to the mouse: I can see that your tail is very long, why is it so sad?

This is a long not-so-sad tale of THB’s last few weeks. To start at the beginning, in late January, while THB and DB were relaxing at the beach, THB took a bike ride he’s done many times before, including a few weeks earlier, from the beach house to Monterey to meet up with DB for lunch along the wharf area. It’s about 90 minutes; 40 minutes or so into the ride THB starts to feel a pain in his chest, which grows to be pretty severe. Then THB starts to feel lightheaded. His head seems to be up about 50 feet looking down on his body on the bike.

PAUSE #1: If you want to skip the rest of the story, it is pretty easy: just scroll down to the bottom where THB has bottom-lined it for you. The rest is just filler (as they say in the blogosphere).

Somehow, THB is still able to ride the bike and thus decides maybe:

a)    that since they had been spraying the fields near the bike path that morning, maybe it is just an odd reaction to the pesticide

b)    it is some oddity like heartburn or indigestion, time to man-up and keep riding (though THB does not ever get heartburn or indigestion and is all that keen on manning up)

c)     THB really is very delusional, and while he could call DB on her cell to come pick him up, that would mean using his cell phone, something that was even more anathema to THB than just riding on….

THB meets up with DB some 30-40 minutes later, still in significant pain. She asks is there anything she can do; THB says no, and goes to buy the biggest iced tea he can find. DB buys sandwiches, and THB eats a gigantic sausage (massive). For you travelsofthb diehards: two drinks, one tri-tip sandwich, one gigantic sausage, $25 (and the onions and peppers for the sausage are ready about 10 minutes too late).

After lunch, the pain has mostly dissipated and THB loads the bike on the rack, we drive back to beach house, and THB proceeds to immediately start suffering a mild form of that cough/cold that is going around. No more intense pain “episodes” for two weeks (though plenty of coughing and a few sneezes).

In the meantime, DB heads off to Cuba for a week on an art trip, her sister is her roomie. THB stays home and for his big 6-5 b’day, heads to LA for a fine celebratory lunch with his mom, where they have the Sunday champagne brunch at the Hotel Bel Air (no sightings of the most famous woman in the world, she is One of a kind, had been the biggest star On TV for the last 25 years, and has her Own magazine….sorry, that’s another story). On the flight’s descent into LA, THB gets a screaming headache (cabin pressure + head cold).

After lunch, THB retires to the hotel to watch the most depressing Super Bowl ever: for the want of a play or two, it would be the 9ers dismantling the hapless Broncos and Mr.  P. Most-Overrated (not related to the other One of a kind).

Back to Oakland the next day, this time no pain on descent. While DB is gone, THB takes another long bike ride (out to Pt Richmond and back) without incident. He also does his regular daily elliptical exercise, no problema.

Just before DB returns from Cuba, THB has another “episode” of chest pain, lasts for around 30-40 minutes, this time not related to exercise. Maybe more related to something THB ate? DB returns on a Sunday, another episode, so THB sends an e-mail to his primary physician with the subject line: Chest Pains. That means the office calls him early Monday and books him an appointment for 11:30, though not with Maeve, his primary doc, because she does not work on Mondays.

THB and DB show up (we have an agreement that for “serious” stuff two listeners is way way better than one non-functioning human who departs into despair at the hint of bad news) and THB gives the background: never smoked, no family history of heart problems (which turns out to be slightly inaccurate, as THB will relate later), no nothing except hypothyroid and a few drinks per week (not per hour, and the drinks turn out to be a positive). No surgeries (THB does not include vasectomies or colonoscopies as “surgery”). THB still has his tonsils (he thinks…who can remember when you get to be this old).

Back-up doc says it might be heartburn/indigestion and suggests taking prilosec, an over-the-counter drug for acid reflux, something THB had taken maybe 10 years ago (when prilosec was prescription only) for a few days. They do an EKG in the office, no sign of problems. And, just to be sure, the doc recommends THB schedule a stress echo test. THB calls the recommended office, and schedules the stress echo for as soon as they can fit him in (and around his bridge schedule): a bit less than two weeks away, in Walnut Creek (to do the test in the Oakland office would be three weeks away).

A few days go by, some with episodes, some not, some days with multiple episodes. Come  Friday morning, THB and DB are back at the beach and THB sends another note to the office, again titled Chest Pains (THB does not want to imply this is why he gets immediate service; this office replies to e-mails same day pretty much all the time, it is a real joy over fighting through the phone system), and this time his primary doc, Maeve (who has been THB and DB’s primary for a longgggggg time), calls and says it is time to start on Nexcium and Xanax  and Tums for the pain, assuming it is still heartburn or indigestion (DB has all of the drugs on hand since she also suffers from heartburn).

PAUSE #2: This is where the NYT starts interjecting reader suggestions diagnosing what this might be, awarding the first person to guess right a mention right there in the Sunday Magazine. For the earliest correct diagnosis here, THB is not able to get your name in the NYT, sorry. Plus, THB KNOWS some of you will have already skipped to the bottom instead of following this long, sad tail (er, tale) and will cheat and spout out the right answer instead of trying to plasticize your brains.

Okay, Nexcium and Xanax (especially the Xanax) are making THB sleep more comfortably. They aren’t totally eliminating the episodes. Nor is there any pattern to the episodes: sometimes affects exercising (cutting short walks or shortening the elliptical rides), sometimes during or right after meals, sometimes at 10:00pm, all over the board.

On Tuesday of the fourth week, THB gets his robo-call confirmation of his Stress Echo test, out in Walnut Creek. Ooops, the office calls an hour later (a real human) and says Thursday won’t work. Okay, after some maneuvering the scheduler actually moves THB up a day, to Wednesday, and for 3pm (phew, since you can’t eat less than 3 hours before the test, at least THB can eat his lunch at almost a normal hour). Lunch at Graysons, shared pork and ahi tuna sandwiches with fries, an ice tea, $32.

Pause #3: Yes, up until this point, this is only the second detailed meal, and only the big sausage on day one barely relates to this story. However, THB will keep those hungry souls among the blog followers appeased and say that his b’day brunch with his Mom was quite nice (and a great setting), his b’day dinner with K&E and L&R at upstairs at Chez Panisse was terrific and lively, a joint b’day lunch with his sis at Sazon in San Ramon was unique and surprisingly good, and his b’day dinner with DB at Commis  (14 courses, wine pairings, seats at the counter) was also terrific. These chest pain episodes are not keeping this lad from his proper chow-downs.

THB is so confident that he will pass his stress test that he shows up just in his running shorts and his kindle, and DB comes along. So, they do another EKG with THB in rest state; then THB hops on the treadmill and off we go. Level 1, a soft stroll in the park; level 2, a near brisk walk in the foothills, and level 3, somewhere between a fast walk and a run up the side of Mt Tam. Damn!!!!!

Had enough, the technician asks? Oh yes! THB hops down, lays back down on the bench, and they start the second EKG. (DB is outside, the walls are so thin she can hear the second technician, who is being trained, complain her pen isn’t working….which is not distracting THB while he’s on the mountain).

How did THB do, you wonder? Well, here’s how you know: if you pass, they tell you they will send the results to your primary doc and you’ll hear in a week or so the details; if you fail, you get to meet with the heart doc in his office immediately. THB delays the process of deciding if it is door #1 (the exit) or door #2 (the doc’s office) because the pain in his chest won’t go away, and stays lying flat for at least 15 minutes. Finally, the staff gets tired of waiting THB out, it is door #2. All those years on the elliptical, hiking, not-smoking…fail!? Hmmmmm….

Meet with the doc, and the short story (like THB can tell a short story) is that the doc is basically recommending only one option: TO BE CONTINUED